DEAR WUFEI Pointless Humor
by heeros-gurl1
Summary: COMPLETE! This is a fic that is designed to make you laugh.Their really short and very randam Idea's. Each Chap is full of short sillyness. Dont like Dont Read! [Contains:Yaoi (nothin against the Gboys: I LUV EM), Relena Bashing and sillyness]
1. Dear Wufei

Disclaimer : I not own Wufei, or any other character............Happy? [I actually begged Bandi to let me own Heero.....just Heero,.... but they said no!!! How could they? Heero's mine!....Do you think that they would let me own him if I told them about the time we were 2gether? .........] ^.^;  
  
**This is a pure randum fic. Basically people [people from the show] email Wufei asking him *personal* questions......and Wufei responds in his *Injustice* lecture................ **  
  
**PLEASE REVIEW! I know that their short....but I will add more when I think of some..**  
  
I would like to thank my friend for comming up with the Dear: Wufei idea. [I wrote em...She just sugested it as a joke. :Þ]  
  
[Relena BASHING]  
  
I GOT A FLAME!!!!!!!! [I just have one thing to say. DONT LIKE DONT READ!! its that easy......]  
  
Q = Question  
  
A = Answer  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Question1 :  
  
Q : Dear Wufei:  
  
I love this guy! Problem is he brushes me right off!! He doesn't talk to me except when he's threatening to kill me. He only cares about his Gundam and about being a perfect soldier. He keeps trying to blow himself up every chance he gets. I also follow him every where, so maybe he'll notice me! I don't know what to do....How can I get him to like me! Help!  
-Stoic Stalker  
  
A: Woman:  
  
He has no problem at all, except you. Clearly he's using the best tactic to discard you. He is a very reasonable man that has his priorities straight. You are only hindering him. You're weak and pathetic! I hope he takes you out of your misery and kills you! -Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q: Dear Wufei :  
  
I have a problem; there's this girl that keeps following me around. She keeps following me everywhere, calls my name out all the time, has a snobby personality....she also tries to promote total pacifisum. I've tried everything to get her to stop.... I even started threatening to kill her.....What can I do to keep this girl to stop stalking me.......if you have no suggestions then I will take my own actions......  
- Ready to Kill  
  
A: Perfect Soldier :  
Kill the damn woman already. She's inconsiderate, and that peace crap will never happen! She's just an obstacle in your way.  
- Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q: Yo' Wufei:  
  
I live with this hot, sexy chick you see, and we're best friends. Problem is, I really like her, and if I tell her what I feel then I'm afraid that it might ruin our friendship. So Wu-man what should I do?  
  
A: You insolent fool:  
  
I told you to stop calling me Wu-man. It's improper and disrespectful. Injustice!! I know where you live, Duo. I hope you have at least some morale, so you know that you should not do improper things. I suggest that your woman gets a gun, sword or any other means of protection against your deprived mind.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei :  
  
There's this guy thats staying at my mansion. He's so hot! I mean, I don't know how to tell him how I feel....what if he doesn't feel the same as me?  
  
- Innocent  
  
A: Weakling :  
  
You aren't any better then a woman! You call your self a man? Only woman would ask such inaproperiate questions like that. I think that you need to get a back-bone and stop wearing woman colors and start acting more like a man.....forget your emotions.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q: Dear Wufei :  
  
I just recently joined the L3 Circus. I've met some new people there. My problem is that, well, I know that they girl that I work with is my sister. Thing is, she had no clue, so she keeps comming on to me...and its really starting to scar me. What should I do ?  
  
-Emotionless  
  
A : Clown :  
  
You are a soldier. You don't have time to be in the circus. Tell the woman the truth and then get your sorry ass back onto the battle field. If the blond comes around, ignore him. He is not considered a man.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei :  
  
I LOVE YOU!!!  
  
- Sally Po  
  
A : .....  
  
Weakling.......  
  
-Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q: Dear Wufei :  
  
Hey Wuffers!!! Now how about that answer?  
  
-Shinigami  
  
A: Brainless :  
  
Stop calling me that. And No I will not give you the answer until you cut that long thing of hair growing from your useless head, so you look like a man, not a woman!  
  
- Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Srry!! I was just trying to put Wufei in his character....... ^.^; and I truly am srry if I offended anyone......I am.....really!! This fic was just something to make you laugh.....  
  
My friend and some other reviewers had some great Ideas for GW funnies. Its pointless humor, lol....but that will be in the next chapter !!  
  
** PLEASE NO FLAMES!! **  
  
Ps : I do realize that there is another fic that had randum and pointless humor on ff.net, but I got these sugestions from a friend. And besides, its just the same as everyone writing about 1x2 or Wufei and his nose bleeds......the idea can be used again......right ?? ^.^() 


	2. Short Funnies

Disclaimer : Again I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters........... [bites lip]......but my Heero!!...... Hmmmm....... I will soon scheme up a plan to steal him and then I will own HEERO YUY!!. Muahaahaaa haa !!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ok. Again this is pointless humor, that I hope gets a laugh. Umm Please Review !! ^.\\\  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Duo returns home, just after shopping)  
  
Duo - *Bursts through door with large shopping bags on him* (All 4 pilots look at him)  
  
Duo - Guess what I bought !!  
  
*Silence*  
  
Duo - *Pulls out an outfit from bag* Clown suits for all !!!!  
  
Wufei - ........  
  
Heero - .......  
  
Trowa - O.\\\  
  
Quatre - Thier adorible !!!!! *All eyes go to Quatre and then back at Duo*  
  
Duo - And for you Hee-chan ...... *Ruffles through bag* I got you this!! *Holds up pink thong*  
  
Heero - O.....o  
  
*Everyone, but Heero and Duo, Giggle*  
  
Duo - What?  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - *Is in Wufei's Trianing room playing with his swords*  
  
Wufei - *Walks in room* MAXWELL !!!!!!  
  
Duo - Hey Wuffers !! *Holds up Catana Sword* Hiiiiiiiyaaaaaa *starts slashing sword at nothing*  
  
Wufei - Damnit MAXWELL !!  
  
Duo - Watcha gunna do ? *grins*  
  
Wufei - Nothing..... *Runs out of room with Duo chaising after him*  
  
(Don't ask.....just don't)  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Quatre, Wufei, Heero and Trowa walk into the mansion.....)  
  
Heero - What the hell.......  
  
Duo - *Has a coke in his hand....and 39 empty ones on the floor* Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy Heeeeee-chan !!!!!!!!!!! *Continues to drink*  
  
Wufei - Damnit Barton! I told you to hide the Coke not put it ontop of the fridge!  
  
Trowa - ......  
  
Quatre - What a mess..... Heero, he's yours for the night........  
  
Duo - SuRgAr !!!!!!!!!!!! *opens another coke* Mmmmm!! SuGAr !!  
  
Wufei - For the sake of Nataku ! I will never get to sleep! *Turns to Trowa* With your loose head board .... *Turns to Heero* and your brainless Baka! Not to mension you two doing it all friggin night !!!! INJUSTICE !!  
  
Quatre - *Blushes looks at Trowa*  
  
Heero - O.O  
  
(I know not funny.......*sniff* lol that was my friends Idea....I really have no clue.)  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Duo's up high in a tree)  
  
Duo - Hey! Hee-chan !!  
  
Heero - *Looks up* hn  
  
Duo - Im a bird!! *flaps arms*  
  
Heero - ...  
  
Wufei - Lets see you fly ... *grins*  
  
Duo - *flaps arms* OH MY GOD!! My wings have been cliped !!!! AHHHH!!  
  
Wufei - O___o  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
(All four Gundam Pilots are sitting in Quatre's living room mansion when a portal opens form no where and about 90 fairies fly out.....)  
  
Every1 - O___o?!  
  
Quatre - *stands up* I want that one! Wheeeee!! *Runs around trying to catch one*  
  
Heero - *Stands up and pulls out gun* hn *Aims at one* Omma a Korosu!  
  
Quatre - No!! Don't shoot! How could you?!  
  
Heero - hn *still aims at one*  
  
Trowa - ...... *Sill sits on couch*  
  
Duo - Fairies!!!!!! *Jumps up and down in an attempt to catch one and smiles*  
  
Wufei - ...... You Baka's!!! *leaves room and then returns with a net* Booonnnnnsaaaiiiii!!! *Starts waving net around slashing at the poor fairies*  
  
Quatre - Stop!! *Bends down at fairy who has been hit by Wufei's deadly net* Poor thing......  
  
Heero - *Rolls eyes*  
  
Trowa - ....  
  
Quatre - Trowa do something!!  
  
Trowa - ....  
  
Duo - That went well! *grins and then sees open portal* Wheeeeeeee!!! *Jumps in portal.......*  
  
*Portal Closes*  
  
Heero - ....  
  
Trowa - ...  
  
Wufei - MAXWELL !!!!!!!  
  
Quatre - Yay!! Faries for all !!! *smiles*  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - *Ride's Bike inside Quatre's mansion* Whheeeeeeeeee!!  
  
Trowa - *Turns to Quatre* Aren't you gunna stop him?.......  
  
Quatre - No........I had the floors waxed this morning......  
  
Trowa - O_\\\  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Relena - *Talks to Quatre*  
  
Heero - *Gets Jealous* hn *pulls out gun and walks calmly over to Quatre* Omma a Karosu.......  
  
Quatre - O___o  
  
Heero - *Jumps on Quatre and starts wailing on him*  
  
Quatre - OOOUUUCHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Relena - O_o ....  
  
Trowa - *Who sees Quatre getting beat* .... *Walks over to fight and pokes Heero*  
  
Heero - Hn ?  
  
Trowa - *Hits Heero hard*  
  
Heero - @_@  
  
Quatre - *stands up and then him and Trowa walk away*  
  
Heero - ......  
  
Duo - *out of no where ....* HEE - CHAN !!!!! *Jumps on Heero, arms around his neck*  
  
Heero - O_______o  
  
Relena - .....  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
*(This one is a long and pointless one.....but its cute....)*  
  
(There's a party at their school and so Duo ordered some outfits off of the internet, non of the other G-boys know what Duo had bought.....the package just arrived 1 day before the dance....)  
  
*Door bell rings*  
  
Duo - *Runs to door and opens it* For me? *Takes package and then slams door in dudes face*  
  
Duo - *Runs into Kitchen with package* Its Here!! Yay !!!! *Sits down at table with the rest of the G-boys.)  
  
Every1 - ......  
  
Wufei - Well, what is it Baka .......  
  
Quatre - Whatever it is I'm sure that its something pretty amazing! *smiles sweetly*  
  
Duo - Its our cloths! *grins and digs through package and pulls out some cloths* O...o  
  
Wufei - What is it Maxwell? ...... For the Sake of NATAKU did you skrew up the order?!  
  
Duo - Umm..... *pulls cloths from box*  
  
Every1 - O____________o  
  
Duo - *Holds up a tight bright yellow two peice dress* Opps ..... *nervisly sratches the back of his head* Wrong order.... *looks through box* Theres five here.....  
  
Trowa - .......  
  
Quatre - O...o  
  
Wufei - *Holds nose due to nose bleed*  
  
Heero - *Gives Duo a death glare*  
  
Duo - *hold up hands* Now Hee-chan.....Dont do anything to rash now............You can have the blue one.....  
  
Heero - Omma a Korosu Duo .....  
  
Duo - Eeeeeep!!  
  
Heero - *Jumps on Duo and starts to beat him*  
  
*Everyone watches*  
  
(Night of the dance)  
  
Duo - *putting dress on* I guess its not that bad....I mean, leather would have been a better skrew up....but at least im not the only one going to wear a dress...  
  
Duo - *goes down stairs but everyones gone* Damn them! *calls a cab and then goes to dance*  
  
Duo - *every one looks at him funny as he proceed through the door to see the rest of the G-boys wearing tuxes* What the HELL?!  
  
Wufei - You forgot one minor detail.....  
  
Duo - Whats that!  
  
Wufei - Quatre's rich.....  
  
Duo - O..O *goes over to corner and whipers* Not fair!...  
  
(10 mins later)  
  
Duo - Thats it! *starts ripping dress off and reveils his tight leather underneith* Wheee!! **runs around**  
  
Heero - O_o  
  
Trowa - .....  
  
Quatre - ....  
  
Wufei - O_____________________o .... For Nataku's sake! Thats just wrong! Even for a guy like him......thats wrong.....  
  
Duo - Wheeeeeee!!!!!  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - Im addicted to Soy Sauce !! *smiles and runs around*  
  
Quatre - You know.....thats not something that you addmit  
  
Duo - ..... Ok Im addicted to men in tight leather!  
  
Quatre - On second thought.......  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Heero - Where the hell is Duo?  
  
Quatre - Outside......  
  
Heero - *looks* He's still in that tree??  
  
Quatre - Ya. I sent Trowa to get him down.  
  
Heero - Whats taking him so long?  
  
Quatre - Duo's claiming to be a Falcon protecting its nest.......  
  
Heero - What nest?  
  
Quatre - It's your boxers.....  
  
Heero - O__o *looks outside*  
  
(Out Side)  
  
Trowa - *On a lader in the tree* Oooowwww!! .... Ouch!.......Du- ...Ah!.....Duo STOP!...........Ouch!!!  
  
Duo - *Fercely scrating and clawing at Trowa*  
  
Every1 - .......  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
I know.....They were pretty much pointless...srry if they wernt funny, I really have no imagination at all ^.^() .... I tried!! ^_^  
  
Feel free to give me any Idea's!! Fill em out in ur review....  
  
PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! If I get enough I will post another chapter. Tell me what ya thought.  
  
TAA TAA ! ^.~ 


	3. Pointlessness 3

Disclaimer : I OWN HEERO YUY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^.^; What?? I don't ?! *Goes into corner alone and weeps* Damn them!! (Accually I do not own GW or any of their characters...................)  
  
** Anyone for a second round ?? Ok, heres the deal. I did get a couple of flames! But I have something to say : **clears throat** Ahem..... If you dont like it dont read it.....its that simple!! Think ya can follow that ?? If you do then there is no reason for u to flame me! **  
  
Also! I would love to thank all of you **GOOD** reviews for your Ideas and encouragement!! I would like to espechally thank "maiden_of_flames" for her comment ^.^  
  
This chappy has more Pointlessness and I think for the 4th chappy, Ill do more Dear Wufei letters!! k? Well. Read on !!!  
  
***** THIS IS RATED PG-13 FOR LANGUAGE!! ******  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-* Duo - (Inside Heeros bedroom)  
  
Heero - *Opens Door* What the fuck......  
  
Duo - *Closes Heeros drawer and holds up Heeros gun* Look what I found Hee- Chan!!  
  
Heero - ....put it down  
  
Duo - *Points gun at Heero* Ahem.... Omma o Korosu...........OMG!! That was soo kewl! It even comes with the glare!!!  
  
Heero - .....  
  
Duo - Ok, ok ok! Let me try it again ... *narrows eyes to Death Glare* ......WOW!!.... That was soo cool!!  
  
Heero - Duo put the damn gun down.....  
  
Duo - *Narrows eyes* Omma o Korosu Hee-Chan!  
  
Heero - ....  
  
Duo - *looks at gun* So this is how you do it!! and here I thought it was all just you......  
  
Heero - *Rolls eyes* Put it back before I kill you.  
  
Duo - With what ??? I got your gun.....  
  
Heero - : -_-**  
  
Duo - *Quickly runs out of room, past Heero and down the stiars* I GOT HEE- CHANS GUN!! Wheeeeeeee!!!!!! *runs around*  
  
Trowa; Wufei; Quatre - O.o  
  
Wufei - I say that he has less then 3 seconds ......  
  
Duo - *Bounces around grinning* I got Hee-chans gun!! I got Hee-chans gun! I got Hee-chans Gu -  
  
Heero - *pounding Duo*  
  
Duo - OOOOWWWW!!!!!  
  
Wufei - *snickers* Surves you right Baka  
  
(about 10 mins later...)  
  
Heero - *walks up stairs with gun in hand*  
  
Duo - @_@  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - (Comes home after ordering a pizza for himself)  
  
Duo - **pissed off** Stupid Pizza place! .....  
  
Quatre - ... What happened ?  
  
Duo - I asked them for cheese, pepparoni, mushrooms and anchovies!....  
  
Quatre - And........  
  
Duo - They put Anchovies on it!!!!  
  
Quatre - O...o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Quatre - *Trying on Trowa's clown suit* hmmmm.....  
  
Trowa - *Walks in* ........  
  
Quatre - *looks at Trowa then back into the mirror* ....Does this make my butt look big ???  
  
Trowa - ......  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - *feeling horny*  
  
Wufei *Who is coincidentally beside him* ......  
  
Duo - Say there Wuffers.......Hee-chans gone.... *Feels up Wufei's leg*  
  
Wufei - O..o ...What the hell.... *Nose starts to bleed slightly*  
  
Duo - *Grabs closer and closer toward Wufei's speichal spot* Mmmmmm....Wu- Man....  
  
Wufei - *Holds nose Due to nose bleed* (then talks out of his nose) Maxwell!!  
  
Duo - *starts to feel up Wufei's chest and licks his lips*  
  
Wufei - *Passes out*  
  
Duo - Geez! He's no fun......  
  
Quatre - *Who was secretly watching* You've killed him!!!  
  
Duo - O___o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Wufei - (Secretly eating chocolate) **munch munch**  
  
Duo - Whatcha Doin Wu-Man ??  
  
Wufei - *Swallows* Nooothhiinnngggggggg  
  
Duo - ..... *thinks* Your Hyper ne?  
  
Wufei - **shakes**  
  
Duo - Ha! Wuffers is Hyper!!  
  
Wufei - Amm....Not Baka!!  
  
Duo - Sure you are !!  
  
Wufei - **puts paper bag on head and starts to laugh evily** Muahaa haa haa!!!  
  
Duo - *Steps outside and closes door* I really, really Do not wanna know.....  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Everyone Is at the table for supper)  
  
Quatre - I think this is the best meal that I've ever cooked *smiles*  
  
Duo - *Filling his face* Yep...... **munch much..**  
  
Heero - hn  
  
Wufei - **Watches Duo** Baka....  
  
Trowa - Have you ever wondered why ducks have webbed feet ?  
  
Every1 - O__________o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Trowa - *reading a novel*  
  
Duo - Yo! T-man!!  
  
Trowa - .....  
  
Duo - .....Talk.......Do something!!  
  
Trowa - .....  
  
Duo - *Pokes him with his index finger ever so slowly*  
  
Trowa - .....  
  
Duo - *Intregued, Pokes more*  
  
Trowa - .....  
  
Duo - *Pokes faster*  
  
Trowa - Duo go away......  
  
Duo - IT SPEAKS!! AHHHHHH!!! *Runs away*  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Heero - (In bed sleeping)  
  
Duo and Quatre - *hyper*  
  
Duo - *Opens bedroom door* Whadya say?? ......Wanna see what Heero's dreaming about??  
  
Quatre - *Giggles* How do we do that?  
  
Duo - Watch! *Goes over beside Heero , kneels down*  
  
Quatre - *smiles*  
  
Duo - *Pulls open Heero's eye lids and then pulls out pengilum and spins it infront of Heeros face* Hmm.....Tells up what your dreaming about Hee-chan! ......It damn well better be of me!!  
  
Quatre - *Giggles*  
  
Heero - .........Wearing pink dress...........Tea.....party......with......Re.......Relena...........More tea ??  
  
Quatre and Duo - O____________________________________o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - *Runs around house acting like Spiderman*  
  
Heero - ...  
  
Quatre - ...  
  
Trowa - ........  
  
Wufei - MAXWELL!! What the hell ?!  
  
Duo - **Stops and then trys to spin web from his wrist** Damn.....errr...... *keeps tapping his wrist*  
  
Quatre - Duo , are you ok ??  
  
Duo - My web wont come out!!! ......IM A FREAK!!!!!! Im a defect!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Every1 - O.o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(This one is a bit long....again....pointless as well as funny...)  
  
(Its the first day of class and the G-boys have to intoduce themselves)  
  
Teacher - Ok class, we have some new students, who are going to introduce themselves....  
  
Quatre - Hello. My name is Quatre Reberba Winner. Its such a pleasure to meet you all, Im sure that we will become *great " friends " . **Quatre takes his seat**  
  
Trowa - ..................I have no name.............. **Walks and then takes a seat beside Quatre**  
  
Duo - IM A BIRDDY!!!!!!!! **Starts running around in circles** Ooooo!! a Butterfly!! **Butterfly flies out window ** WHEEEEEE!!! *Follows and then jumps out window*  
  
Every1 - O_________o  
  
Heero - ....My name is Heero Yuy...its a pleasure...However if anyone of you cross my path I shall kill you **Everyone shuffles back**  
  
Wufei - My name is Chang Wufei. Do not call me anything else. I will not tollerate being called Wu-man, Wuffers or anything else. Where I come from theres something called respect!! So stay out of my personal space, esspechally you week onna's!! INJUSTICE!! .......etc....  
  
Quatre, Trowa - *Making out*  
  
Wufei - *Starts to get nose bleed and then passes out*  
  
Duo - *Climbs back through window and then sees Wufei* OMG!!! Someone killed WUFFERS!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!! It was the mutant butterfly!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!! **starts to run around, screaming, flailing his arms about and then stops and points at student* YOU!! your the mutant butterfly that killed my Wuffers!! **Sees butterfly again** Ahhhh!!! Reinforcements!!!!!!!!!  
  
Every1 - O_______o  
  
(Wufei did eventually recover from his nose bleed......)  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Heero and Duo have been *sexually together for almost 3 years)  
  
Duo - **In bed with Heero after a long night _2gether_** Guess what???  
  
Heero - What?  
  
Duo - I have something to tell you.....  
  
Heero - .....  
  
Duo - Im gay......  
  
Heero - O.o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Again, Im srry if they wernt funny....I just had a fun time writting them!! Please review!!! And again Please NO FLAMES!!!  
  
** Umm....if you thought that any of these were funny please R&R :Þ My friends wernt the best ones to go 2.....they said that it was really stupid......but who cares when I have nice reviewers like you ?? **  
  
Stay posted! I will add another chappy wheneva I get more reviews! :Þ 


	4. More Dear WUFFERS!

Disclaimer : .......I.......Own.....Heero.......Yuy........I.....do........I have to!............**gets slapped** Umm....... *Cough Cough!* I do not own gundam Wing or any of their..... OW! ..... Characters...... **Holds foot, as Bandai Peeps theaten to kill me** HEERO YUY IS MINE!!!!!!!!! **Gets knocked out.**  
  
Hello!! Ready 4 more Dear Wuffers ? *Ahem* Wufei's. Well heres another helping! And for the next chappy Its gunna be more randomnesseseses........ ^.^; Anyway, thanks to all those reviewers!! **Hugs all and smiles ** Please dont forget to review!!  
  
On with the..............Letter thingee's.......and remember its like 3:00 am in the morning and im writting this.....So I do appologize if they arnt funny.....Im just soooo tierd!!  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
Me and Trieze would love it if you joined us!! *Winks*  
  
- Zechs  
  
A: Absolutly NOT :  
  
Do I look like a woman to you?? You both are completely sick!! If you want to do anything, go find the blonde!  
  
-Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
I have this really big problem. I love this guy, but he has a boyfriend! I worked by his side in Oz, I returned to him, one year and twenty two days later and I thought that he might have liked me, but I soon found out that he was with someone else... How can I get him ??  
  
- Lucrenzia  
  
A : Woman  
  
Your weak for liking a man whos interested in being a woman! Im duscusted to think that you accually still have feelings for this so called man. He gives all men bad names!! Forget it! He will never like you! Leave your emotions behind and go home where you belong!!!!  
  
- Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
Wu Wu!! Come on please give me the answer!!  
  
- THE GOD OF DEATH!!!  
  
A : Baka  
  
How bout.......NO!! .....  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
I LOVE YOU CHANG WUFEI !!!!!! I have an Idea! Lets get married!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!  
  
- Po  
  
A : Miserible Weakling...  
  
No, no and No!! I do not disire to marry the likes of you! Drop yourself from the armed forces and then I might consider.......  
  
- Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
I have a big problem...and I mean big! Everywhere I go, or anyone I see they all ways stare at me funny. Some blonde kid just told me the other day to wax my brows! I mean how mean is that? Sure, War is Wonderful! But having these people bug me can really put down my ego. What should I do?  
  
-Cockroach Brow  
  
A : Lady  
  
Give me a brake! Shave the damn things, get your Ass out of the battle field and get out of your "War is Wonderful!" stage!! And maybe after you shave them you might wanna get laid, this way you'll stop your complaining!!!  
  
-Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
I love all people! Wars are not needed. Alls I want to do is forfill his Excellencys wishes. BUT I WILL KILL ALL WHO OPPOSE ME!! WARS FEED ME AND EVERYONE SHALL OBAY ME!! I am but the kindess person. I want peace to spread between the Colonies and Earth. I WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO KILL ALL THE GUNDAM PILOTS!!  
  
- Lady  
  
A : .......  
  
Skitso [1] ...... You need serious help......  
  
- Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
You can be in the middle...... *Licks lips*  
  
-Kushranada  
  
A : !!  
  
FUCK NO!! You and your little woman boy need to get a life! Stop fucking each other and start to act like men!! You people discust me!!  
  
-Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Fei Fei  
  
Wuffers!! Hello ?? Answer ?? You do realize that I will keep on sending you these letters until your inbox is full up!!  
  
-Maxwell  
  
A : Ass  
  
I will never answer you. Do _You_ realize that there is such a thing called "BLOCKING" a person!! And stop calling me that redickulis name!!  
  
-Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear WUFFERS!!  
  
Now.....you owe me a BIG apology!............I'm waiting.  
  
-Guess Who  
  
A : DUO  
  
Skrew you.  
  
-Wufei  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Q : Dear Wufei  
  
Haa Haa!! Skrew! *Bursts out laughing*  
  
A : .....  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
[1] - Skitsophrenic (Its a mental problem when you have multiple perosnalities...)  
  
_____________  
  
Yep....thats it. I promissed that I would put up more letters...and I did just that! ^.~  
  
Next Chappy? Yep more POINTLESSNESSESESESESESESES :Þ  
  
Taa Taa ^.^ 


	5. Pointlessnesseseseses

Disclaimer : I Finally own Heero!! And ya know what?? They threw in Duo for free!! yep!! .... Heero ?? .....umm.....heh....where did he go ?? **Heeros sneeks into Duo's room** Um............right........ (No...I dont own Heero or Duo for that matter.....I own TROWA!! **Hugs Trowa plushie**)  
  
Thank you all for the reviews !! **Hugs all again** I was holding this one hostage......cuz like i said i need reviews and the more I get the more that i dish out!!  
  
Now on with MORE POINTLESSNESSESESESESESESESES ... (Enough 'es' 's ?? )  
  
__________________________  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Duo - *Goes into Wufei's room* .... *Digs through drawer* ...Porn, Porn, Porn, Porn.......*Rumbles hand through* ...LIP-GLOSS?! .......*Grins*  
  
Duo - *Looks at it and unscrews the lid.* Blue..... *Pulls the stick out of gloss and stares at it.*  
  
Duo - *Puts the stick back in as it makes a noise*  
  
Duo - *Interested, pulls it out....and then in*  
  
Duo - *Pulls out as thing makes noise again* This is better then Trowa! *Puts it in again*  
  
Duo - *Pulls it out*  
  
Duo - *Pushes it in*  
  
Duo - *Pulls it out*  
  
Wufei - *Standing in door way* MAXWELL!!  
  
Duo - *Pushes it in*  
  
Wufei - Baka! *Takes out pocket knife and holds it up to Duo's briad* Get out!  
  
Duo - *Pulls it out*  
  
Wufei - *Cuts Duo's briad off*  
  
Duo - *Pulls it in and out extreamly fast*  
  
Wufei - O____o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Trowa - *Looking up porn on the internet* ....  
  
Duo - *Walks up to Trowa's door and sees what he's looking at*  
  
Trowa - *Clicks on something titled "Quatre Fetish"*  
  
Duo - *Who is now directly behind Trowa* Wow! Those are cute pictures! But you you might wanna go to my Heero ones *Types in web address in bar*  
  
Computer - *Opens Site*  
  
Duo - See!! *On the screen is Heero hugging Wufei, who is dressed up like Barney*  
  
Trowa - O__\\\  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Quatre - *Looks outside* Where's Trowa? .......  
  
Heero - Didn't you send him out to get Duo down from that tree...?  
  
Quatre - Umm...ya.. *Heero and Quatre go outside*  
  
*Looks up in tree*  
  
Trowa - *Who has five pairs of Heeros boxes on him as well as a pink thong* .......  
  
Quatre - Trowa!  
  
Heero - Where the hell is Duo?  
  
Duo - *Starts to flap his arms again.* Caw!!  
  
Heero/Quatre - O__o  
  
Wufei - *Who is at safe distance and yells* I think he's feeding his *chicks !  
  
Quatre - and Trowa's the main course?  
  
Trowa - .....  
  
Duo - Caw! Eat my prettys!! Eat!  
  
Everyone - O_____o  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Ok this is gunna be kinda stupid. lol, Its an Eminem song, changed to fit the G-boys. Just a thought that occured to me right now, and it shouldnt make any sence, so dont worry if you don't get it...... O_o!?!)  
  
THE GUNDAM BOYS SINGING : MY DADS GONE CRAZY by EMINEM (Changed to fit them! WOOT!) Ok, Quatre may sound like a maniac...but I know he's not, I just couldnt choose him to sing. k? I AM sorry if I offened anyone by dissing their character. If I did I am sorry. I love all the G-boys.  
  
(PS : You may wanna play the song with it, or just listen to the song afterward, lol.)  
  
[Intro]: *Tuning Tv*  
  
*Quatre Snortin Crack*  
  
[Tv Presenter]: Hello boys and girls Today we're gonna talk about father and son relationships  
  
Do you have a daddy?  
  
I'll bet you do  
  
*Door opens*  
  
[Tv Presenter]: Who's your daddy?  
  
[Trowa]: Quatre, what're you doing?  
  
*Beat starts*  
  
[Quatre]: Haha  
  
[Quatre & the Gang]: Ok then! everybody, listen up!  
  
[Duo]: I'm goin to hell, who's comin' with me?  
  
[Quatre]: Somebody, please help me! *giggle* i think I've gone crazy!  
  
*Verse #1:*  
  
[Quatre] : There's no mountain I can't climb There's no colony too high, No Gundam that I can't learn how to fly,  
  
[Heero]: What do I gotta do to get through to you, destroy you  
  
There ain't nothing I can't take Zero through *Duo Makes shooting Sound*  
  
[Quatre]: Friggin' brain's gone, and a brass Gundam, I'll destroy them all!, I got 'em pickled and  
  
bronzed in my large mansion!  
  
Inside of a hall, with my framed autograph, Goggles with Rashide's name, on my drag wall  
  
I'm out of the closet, I been lying my ass off, All this time, me and Trowa been*bleeping* with a loose headbord.  
  
[Trowa]: ....*bleep* it Quatre  
  
[Quatre]: Tell Treize and his lover to back off! Before I push this mothercrapping button and blast off. And launch one of these beams, and that's all *Duo Makes Explosion Sound* Blow every friggin thing, except Arabia on the map, off  
  
We wanna stop, we wanna knock the crap off *Heero knocks* I'll tell 'em maybe  
  
[Duo] *Points to Quatre*: He's lost it  
  
*Chorus*  
  
[Duo]: There's really nothin' else to say ha, I can't explain it  
  
[Quatre]: I think I've gone crazy!  
  
[Wufei]: A little help from his t-tube sisters would, should tell them maybe  
  
[Heero]: I think Quat's gone crazy!  
  
[Quatre]: Theres nothing you could do to save me, could ever change me  
  
[Trowa]: I think my Koi's gone crazy!  
  
[Quatre]: There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Relena!  
  
[Wufei]: I think the blond's gone crazy!  
  
*Verse 2: *  
  
[Quatre] : It's like my Father always told me *Quatre Impersinates His Dad* Rnrnrnrnrnrrrr, n codename n goddamit, you non-test tude child, If you aint got any work, then don't go fighting for peace..  
  
Er..  
  
Skrew that crap, Dad!, do your work, stuck there writing a million contracts per second, I'd rather put out a large peace commitee, I'd rather be a peace fighting blond, fight Oz,  
  
And have protests of anti-war glued to my face with goggles to my nose!  
  
Then quit bringin my flos, quit giving me my ammo, Can't you see why I'm so mean? if y'all leave me alone, this wouldn't be my ammo I wouldn't have to go "My heart, his pain, my sole!"  
  
Catch a Leo by it's toe, man i don't know no more, Am i the only friggin one who's normal any more?  
  
[Trowa]: Quatre.......?  
  
*Chorus*  
  
[Duo]: There's really nothin' else to say ha, I can't explain it  
  
[Quatre]: I think I've gone crazy!  
  
[Wufei]: A little help from his test tube sisters would, should tell them maybe  
  
[Heero]: I think Quat's gone crazy!  
  
[Quatre]: Theres nothing you could do to save me, could ever change me  
  
[Trowa]: I think my Koi's gone crazy!  
  
[Quatre]: There's no one on earth that can save me, not even the Sanq Kingdom!  
  
[Wufei]: I think the blond's gone crazy!  
  
*Verse #3:*  
  
[Quatre]: My reasons can make you cry, take you by surprise,  
  
And at the same time, make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme So what you're seeing is a genius at work, Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first, Cuz when i speak, it's quiet and shy  
  
I'd take Dorthy's life before I'd ever do Relena *Duo makes nasty face*  
  
I'd slice my wrists, get struck by Heero twice at once  
  
And die and come back as Darlin's Daughter, And walk around the rest of my life spit on, And kicked and hit with shit, every time I leactured, Like Dorthy when she says "War is Wonderful!"  
  
[Heero]: More pain inside of my brain, in the eyes of a little girl inside of a colony, Aimed at the  
  
world base, standin' on Trieze's grave,  
  
Screaming at this guy, the clouds gather as Zeches Marquize and Lady Une,  
  
And Quatre must just stop it.  
  
Parent is pissed, but the kid loves it  
  
Nine millimeter, His Father's desk, and two-seaters with beam sabors,  
  
[Wufei] : I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Trieze listen to me neither  
  
*Chorus*  
  
[Duo]: There's really nothin' else to say ha, I can't explain it  
  
[Quatre]: I think I've gone crazy!  
  
[Wufei]: A little help from his test tube sisters would, should tell them maybe  
  
[Heero]: I think Quat's gone crazy!  
  
[Quatre]: Theres nothing you could do to save me, could ever change me  
  
[Trowa]: I think my Koi's gone crazy!  
  
[Quatre]: There's no one on earth that can save me, not even the Sanq Kingdom!  
  
[Wufei]: I think the blond's gone crazy!  
  
*Outro:*  
  
[Quatre]: Crazy  
  
[Duo]: *laughs* You're funny Quatre!  
  
______________  
  
T_T I AM sorry if I offened anyone by dissing their character. If I did I am sorry. I love all the G-boys. It was shory, yes. But the song was long :) I hope it got a laugh....or a really confused (O_o?!) face. This Fic is complete! Done O Done O! :D Please review! THANKEE'S! *Points to review button* 


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